Crazies in the Rearview
I was driving home after seeing Jaci off today (she left to go home for Thanksgiving) when I had to stop for a red light. I suppose technically I really didn't have to stop, but considering the massive wall of speeding traffic between myself and the other side, I feel I made the right decision.
I noticed, however, whilst checking my rear-view mirror, that there was a woman going absolutely ape-shit in the big red van behind me. Upon further inspection I saw that she was approximately in her 40's and her hair was blonde, big and oh so curly. She was totally doing that midlife, young, cougar look thing.
The next item that came to my attention was the man sitting beside her in the passenger seat. That poor, sad little man.
The cougar was flailing her arms, banging things, and, though I couldn't hear her, presumably speaking quite loudly. Perhaps even shouting. Thankfully, she didn't seem to be shouting at the little man. The little man who was totally ignoring her.
That's right.
He totally ignored her.
He just sat there. He didn't move. He didn't speak. He didn't even look at her. He didn't seem to acknowledge her in any way. He merely looked out his passenger side window without an ounce of expression on his face.
He's my hero.
She looked his way a few times and I guess she noticed he wasn't paying attention. She didn't care. She just banged on the steering wheel and kept on blabbing.
What a good man. I would have run out of the car screaming into traffic. Maybe even caused an accident. Then the poor person in the vehicle that hit me would be extremely upset as a result of taking my life. That person would never understand the significance of the favour they had just bestowed upon me.
Well the light eventually changed. We went on our way and after a short distance the red van to my rear pulled off.
I wonder what that woman was so peeved about.
I wonder if that man is fearful when she drives him.
I wonder what song was going through that little man's head all the while she was yammering.
I bet it was a good one.
posted by §panky® @ 10/08/2004 01:21:00 a.m.
2 comments
2 Comments:
Having not seen the rabid cougar myself, I can only wonder if perhaps she was singing/dancing? Perhaps to her favourite thrash-rock band???
Then again, being a middle-aged cougar, I guess it is all the more likely that she's a border-line psychotic.
If I were the man sitting beside her, I'd've ensured she got her comeuppance! A quick jerk of the steering wheel towards a lamppost, and after the loud crash: peace & quite.
Many seem to believe she was dancing and singing. I thought the same thing at first, but upon further study I realised it could not be so. The speaking was sharp and spastic and the movements were neither dancing nor thrashing. They were the aggravated movements I make myself when I'm...well...aggravated.
She also looked to the little man as if conversing with him...though he did not reply.
Borderline psychotic is right.
That little man is still my hero.
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