From My Mind To Your Screen

Here are the latest §panky® originals from FINE 328.

The assignment was to make a 3D still life scene using a minimum of 3 objects using only the following types: box, tube, sphere and torus.

Then the scene was to be lighted to give it colour. No textures or other fancy techniques were to be used.

Finally 4 pictures were to be rendered from the scene.

These are the 4 pictures.

Nuff said?

Holy Cow Monkey My Profile SUCKS

Yes yes. My profile is still ultimately screwed. It has not updated itself since September 18th.

I've grown tiresome of this blatant misconduct and sent a message to blogspot support in an attempt to beat my profile into compliance.

I have not yet begun to fight.

The Winter of My Discontent

Well the winter school term is finally here. And after too short a holiday season I might add.

So far the term is already reminiscent of the frozen pit of hell, without the 3 headed Satan eating people of course. That would just be silly.

First off, I had a hell of a time trying to get into the necessary classes. Just yesterday someone dropped out at the last second and the 3 others waiting to get in ahead of me didn't show so BOOM! I was in. Then I bought $150 worth of art supplies. Ouch...

I also managed to get into Contemporary Art though I'm missing a prerequisite. Sadly, the class is going to be a bitch for work. But it's a prerequisite for courses I want to take next year...

The frozen pit of hell comes with the long walks I've taken to school. There is much snow on the ground now so I decided to wear my winter boots (that I haven't worn since I was in school 2 winters ago). The first day I made the hike with only a couple of blisters. Not too shabby. I decided I'd stick with the old boots one more day with some heavier socks in hopes that my blisters would be reduced.

No such luck.

That day I came home with a community of blisters. I believe they built a church and community center on the ball of my foot. That was also the day I bought the metric ton of art supplies. I came home between classes hauling all that uncomfortably carried crap in a great deal of pain. I headed back to the school that day in running shoes...still in pain.

I ache to this very day.

Anyway, I'm at work today in my good ol' comfy work boots. Who'd have thought work boots could feel so good? I've got these puppies broken in something fierce!

Well, here's what my classes look like after week 1.

Fine 112: Modern Art Blah Blah - Looks like we're gonna look at impressionist art, cubism and crazy abstract shiznit, as well as some Nazi architecture. Big whoop. Hopefully I learn some appreciation for it because that abstract stuff often looks like colourful vomit to me.

Fine 121: Introduction to Art 2 - The first one was all aboot the drawin' and this one's painting. Should be alright. Required for other courses and I might learn how to paint! Booya!

Fine 229: Digital Art2 - The sequel to last terms digital art course. The prof seems like he's never taught a thing before in his life and he's very vague and doesn't explain things as well as I'd like. Only 4 assignments and a little writing. I'm supposed to make things in the style of my favourite artist. He named all kinds of artists of which I've never heard. I don't even really have a fav. Not entirely sure how to approach the projects with no artist to mimic. Oh well. Get to work on a Mac for the first time though.

Fine 319: Contemporary Art - More art I really don't like. The prof's actually forcing us to do research in the library. I've never done research in the library. Damn. A lot of reading and writing and other crap on a subject I don't like. Damn prerequisites...

Fine 328: 3D Graphics and Animation - Sure to be my favourite course. I like animation. I'm gonna spend more time on this class than any other and possibly enjoy it. Sweet!

Anyway, that's my lineup this term and I feel I've rambled enough.

Godspeed.

DONE!

In less than 20 minutes.

That doesn't necessarily mean I did well, but, still, that's pretty damn fast.

Roundin' The Bend

Well I'm heading into my last exam tomorrow morning. Should be alright and I expect to be done within' less than an hour. I'm gonna try and be out in 20 minutes actually. Good old Ital 291.

Tonight I've been reading dirty stories by Boccaccio, about how to be an efficient dictator from Machiavelli and then I'll finish up by reading about cultural changes in Italy and the like.

From this reading today I have learned that, although these readings are far from difficult, reading whilst lying in one's bed makes maintaining consciousness incredibly difficult.

I'm going to set my alarm now before further reading just to be safe.

I don't want to wake up at noon on the day of my 9am exam dontcha know.

Wish me luck!

A Little Somethin' Somethin' From Fine 228

My final assignment for Fine 228 was my favourite. As much as I despised most abstract art prior to the assignment, creating was fun, easy, and I actually like the images I created.

Sadly, the place where I host my pictures sucks so I had to seriously tone down the file sizes, but, either way, here are the images I made!

I call this one Orb. It's way prettier in its original resolution when you can actually see the fine details. The one you get to see is crap. Oh well!

This one is titled Oriental as it reminds me of Chinese art for some reason. This one also looks considerably better when full size, but what can ya do?

Last but not least is She. This was the first one I made and basically I just played around until I made it look like some groovy black-lighted vomit. Just kidding! That would be some whack vomit though, eh?

Anyway that was the final project from my wonderul Fine 228 cfourse. I'd show you other works but I received my highest marks for these. It's all down hill from here, Baby.

Peace.

Banking By Dummies

What the crap? (Quote from The Crow)

I mean it's friday after work and, like most people, I have a cheque to deposit and I want to get it over with quickly if possible. This generally means I use a bank machine.

I decide that I'll get a head start and go to the bank on my way through Linwood. Yes Linwood. One of the smallest mennonite based towns around. Anyway, I go into the bank, which has only one bank machine, and decide that because there are only 2 people in line I'll jump right in on that shizzle!

I stand in line.

I wait like 10 minutes.

I try to see what the lady at the machine has been doing, the same lady who was there when I arrived (no I haven't moved ahead in line).

That biznitch is printing out her bank book at approx. 5:00PM on a friday and she must not have updated it in a long time. In the time I was waiting she took it out to flip the pages at least 7 times. Do you know how slowly those things print in a machine?

The woman at the head of the line even asked her if she couldn't be doing that after hours. I assume they knew eachother but the point is she could. She just laughed and said, "But then I'll get home and my husband will complain about the book not being printed."

What kind of bastard gets mad when the bank book isn't updated on time? I mean it seems like it's already been about 6 months since she last updated it, so what's a few hours more? Even if he is upset, BOO FRICKETY HOO! Nobody cares. I don't care. She shouldn't either.

That is my rant.

Enjoy.

May The Homeless of Waterloo Rejoice!

While walking to my car from class this cold Thursday night, a stroll that crosses the entirety of our huge campus, I decided upon the perfect place for a homeless person to live.

This discussion was brought up often with my good friend Cole back in the day. She pointed out various benches and enclaves of tree branches and bushes that she would use for shelter if she were homeless. She isn't, but it was kind of fun to pretend.

The one place we would never dare to mention, however, was the Math building. Of course we were both prisoners there at the time and dreaded the place. Especially the revolting Comfy Lounge.

Now that I'm no longer forced to visit that wretched hole, I believe homeless people should.

It makes perfect sense when you think aboot it.

1. It's warm.
   
2. It's open 24 hours a day.
   
3. There are bathrooms with sinks large enough for bathing.
   
4. It has a lounge. In this lounge there are pop/candy machines and couches as a source of change.
   
5. It's not out of place for people to sleep there. In fact, in some classes it's common for students to bring sleeping bags and pillows.
6. The people there are often scruffy and not bathed.
   
7. As a result of 6 it smells nasty.
   
8. Many rant and rave about nothing in particular. Often in gibberish.
9. The top floors include their own funhousesque maze.

It's like a hobo paradise! Come to think of it, some of the students there might qualify as bums. Crazy! Alas, I highly doubt any homeless people have access to this blog, and, as such, will never know. Perhaps I should print flyers.

In the meantime, anyone who reads this now and might soon be in the position of having no home, you're welcome.

FIrst Late Night Snowstorm Drivin' Of The Season

It rained most of the day yesterday. Jaci and I went to my parents place for dinner and a movie and had a relatively good time. Then we left for Waterloo.

It was pouring when we left and it was also extremely windy. The rain resembled snow comming at the car while driving.

Then it started to build up on the windsheild...in solid form. Visability was low.

By the time we made it to Tim Horton's in Elmira the front of my car was plastered with snow.

It rained all the way back from Tim's...but still...it was snowing...in the middle of October. Ick.

This is going to be a long winter.

My Funny Little Dutch Man

Hylke Wynja. What a card. What a font of insight. What a sweet little old Dutch man.

Hylke is quite possibly the best customer in the history of the world. The man's pushing 80 and still remains more technologically advanced and computer literate than my parents. Not that they're exactly in their prime...but you get the picture.

Hylke had me over this week to hook him up with a cable to connect his computer to his stereo. That, and he needed me to fix the microphone so his son in Prague could hear him during video chats. Pretty fancy set up for an old man.

The reason I believe Hylke to be the best customer ever, is his incredibly appreciative behaviour. Most people want everything done 10 minutes before you even arrive on site and are thoroughly annoyed if you take any longer than 10 minutes beyond that. Although Hylke will ask every so often to see how things are going, when you explain to him what you're doing he'll reply with "Oh! Of course! Good idea. That's good. Good work. You're a smart one." and the like. Then, when you finish the job and everything seems to be working, he'll always end with "Wow! That's excellent! You really know your stuff. You are very good with computers. Thank you so much!"

He once came into the shop and told my boss he should be give me a raise.

I concur.

Alas, I feel sad for Hylke. His wife passed away a month ago. Hylke seemed to be doing well. Apparently she had been battling cancer for quite some time and now Hylke says she's in a better place and can finally get some rest.

*tear*

But, Hylke keeps going happily on through life. The mighty little Dutch man. He even has that great Goldmemberish accent. Technically I don't know if he is Dutch. But that's what I'm getting from the accent. I could be very wrong. I apologize if that is the case.

Hylke, I salute you.

Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod

Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod, one night sailed off in a wooden shoe;
Sailed on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going and what do you wish?" the old moon asked the three.
"We've come to fish for the herring fish that live in this beautiful sea.
Nets of silver and gold have we," said Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song as they rocked in the wooden shoe.
And the wind that sped them all night long ruffled the waves of dew.
Now the little stars are the herring fish that live in that beautiful sea;
"Cast your nets wherever you wish never afeared are we!"
So cried the stars to the fishermen three - Winkin', and Blinkin', and Nod.

So all night long their nets they threw to the stars in the twinkling foam.
'Til down from the skies came the wooden shoe bringing the fisherman home.
'Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed as if it could not be.
Some folks say 'twas a dream they dreamed of sailing that misty sea.
But I shall name you the fisherman three - Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod.

Now Winkin' and Blinkin' are two little eyes and Nod is a little head.
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies is a wee one's trundle bed.
So close your eyes while mother sings of the wonderful sights that be.
And you shall see those beautiful things as you sail on the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three - Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod.

Haunted By My Profile

It seems my profile is denying me an update again. I've waited nearly a month this time with no complaints. I just assumed it would update soon enough.

It hasn't.

Last time I was disgruntled with the profile I wrote about it and shortly thereafter it updated.

Perhaps that method will work once more...

A Few Words On Art History

To fulfill my new program's requirements, I'm taking not one, but two Art History courses this term. Sounds extremely boring and I'm sure to most people it is. It mostly consists of discussing the works of dead artists and how they portray the period during which they lived and the social promise and conflict that surrounded them during that time. Strangely enough, I really enjoy it.

It's somewhat fascinating to see a painting you may have seen many times before and forgotten and be given an interesting story to explain it. It makes the painting easier to remember and far more appealing. It also gives you the ability to impress people when they say "Damn that's a bad painting" and you can explain the reasoning behind every stroke of the brush.

That doesn't improve the painting, but impresses none the less.

The only problem with an Art History class, however, is the papers. They bring me down, man. I've had to write papers for Art History based on some icky modern art. We've only studied beautiful classical art so God knows why I have to express the concept of space in a work of scribbles. I don't care how the space or lines affect that crap.

It will always be a jumble of scribbles to me.

End of story.

DJ Pump The Low End Frequency

I feel it deep inside me.
I wanna ride it.
Can't fight it.
I might as well rely on the drum beat.
DJ pump the low end frequency.
Can't hide it.
I won't deny it.
'Cause I'm addicted to drums,
And I'm a slave to the dark beat.

- Oscar G